top 10 reasons to live here10. Safety - more fire extinguishers per capita than any other living group at MIT.
9. History - Tetazoo legacy makes you feel guilty about not hacking.
8. Selectivity - only the finest patriotic fun-loving Americans here.
7. Flexibilty - all sleep schedules are welcome here.
6. Cleanliness - our sparkling kitchen is up to 100% roach-free, guaranteed.
5. Godliness - daily/weekly/hourly prayer services ensure spirituality.
4. Community - we uphold family values and traditional gender roles.
3. Diversity - all SORTS of Course VI people can be found here.
2. Sophistication - wine-and-cheese socials, violin recitals and foreign film screenings demonstrate our appreciation for fine culture.
...and the number one reason to live on THiRD EAst:
1. Serenity - new SILENT HOURS ensure hours of quiet sleep/study.