top 10 reasons to live here
10. Safety - more fire extinguishers per capita than any other living group at MIT.

9. History - Tetazoo legacy makes you feel guilty about not hacking.

8. Selectivity - only the finest patriotic fun-loving Americans here.

7. Flexibilty - all sleep schedules are welcome here.

6. Cleanliness - our sparkling kitchen is up to 100% roach-free, guaranteed.

5. Godliness - daily/weekly/hourly prayer services ensure spirituality.

4. Community - we uphold family values and traditional gender roles.

3. Diversity - all SORTS of Course VI people can be found here.

2. Sophistication - wine-and-cheese socials, violin recitals and foreign film screenings demonstrate our appreciation for fine culture.

...and the number one reason to live on THiRD EAst:
1. Serenity - new SILENT HOURS ensure hours of quiet sleep/study.